After he had gotten her back, he would go into her room at night and watch her sleep, taking comfort in the rise and fall of her chest, in her even breathing. He knew that she wouldn’t be too happy if she discovered how he was spending his nights, that she would say it was a gross invasion of her privacy. But he didn’t care, respecting her privacy had never been of much concern to him and now he cared even less than ever. He didn’t know what he would do if he ever truly lost her. There were very few options, one of them included the little package of white powder, hidden in a book on his bookshelf. But a relapse wasn’t an option that he wanted to face, it wasn’t a path that he particularly wanted to choose. He didn’t know if he’d have the will power to resist if anything happened to her though. So, he watched her sleep at night just to make sure she was okay. Just to hold onto to what little control he felt like he had left. He knew that even this routine wouldn’t last long, that one night she would wake up because she had to use the bathroom or get something to drink, then he would be discovered and they would have yet another discussion about boundaries. Until then, he took comfort in knowing she was safe and that they’d be together for a while. Until then, he watched her sleep at night. Assuring himself that everything was going to be okay.
I just wanted to post this before the last couple episodes of Elementary aired and this was decidedly off canon. I didn’t use names because I realize that there are some people out there reading this and they don’t watch Elementary. So, you can put whatever names you want in, you can picture whatever characters or people you like. It won’t matter, but for me this was a piece about Joan and Sherlock. If you watch Elementary and got this, then great. If you don’t and it was just a little piece of fiction to you, that’s great too. I do not own any of the characters, I just like to play in other people’s sandboxes.