Dear Santa Claus,

Everybody is asking me what I want for Christmas. But what I really want this year cannot be found at Forever 21 or the Apple store. It cannot be paid for with credit cards, cash or a check. You cannot wrap it in shiny paper and line it up along side all the other pretty packages that will be under the tree.

It isn’t possible.

Santa Claus, what I really want this year is for there to be peace in the house.

For the violence to stop in the world. For justice to be served when justice deserves to be served.

For my  sister to be happy. For my other sister to be whole and well again.

I want somebody to see me and only me and to gift me his favorite songs and to want to spend the rest of his life with me with a couple of dogs and maybe a kid. I want somebody to look at me the way my sisters boyfriends look at them. I want coffee kisses in the morning and slow dances around the kitchen at night. I want an imperfect prince charming. I want to give my healing heart to somebody who will keep it safe for me this time around. I want arguments and make ups and movie marathons. I want somebody who will get me and see all of me and love even my ugly parts. I want long conversations that do not take place in my dreams anymore. I do not want to be alone among a group of people anymore.

I’m waiting patiently Santa.




I Believe. . .

I believe in fairy tales and in true love and that eventually, love will win out in the end no matter what. I believe in wishing on shooting stars and dandelion dust. I believe in Christmas and that you can fall in love again even after you’ve lost it to the worst of circumstances. I believe in second chances and that music really does heal, that just hugging is a powerful thing, that sometimes crying is the best therapy, that laughter is the best medicine. I believe that Anne Frank was right. . . in spite of everything, people really are good at heart. I believe that people do have an effect on us, even after they are gone. Especially after they’re gone. I believe in family, in sisterhood, in the bra code, in best friends. That fictional characters become part of our lives just for a little bit, that for a short amount of time they are our friends and that in the pages of a book, in the scenes of a movie or a television show there are lessons to be learned. I believe in superheros, I believe that we need them in our lives because they symbolize hope. I believe in Narnia and in Neverland. I believe in good coffee, in glitter, that sometimes a Starbucks barista does more than just make your coffee. I believe in bare feet and high heels and painted toenails. I believe that everybody is beautiful in their own way, that every girl is a princess. . . it is their right. I believe that one day there will be peace on earth, that everything has a purpose under the sun and that God is real. 

I especially believe that God is real.